Thursday, August 23, 2007

identities...

I know I've been struggling with the idea that we're having a girl since we found out about a week ago. I think I've finally figured out why I was so unnerved by the discovery of her being a HER. I was worried that I have nothing to offer her. I don't like doing my hair. My hair is always pulled in a ponytail or half way up. I don't curl it unless its a super special occasion because its so thick and takes forever. I RARELY blow it dry either because I just don't want to take the hour to do it. (thats how long it takes cuz my hair is so long & thick!) i hate painting my toes & shaving my legs. I despise going to get my eyebrows done (although this is something that i always find myself doing). I don't wear a lot of make up, and I'm much more comfortable at football and basketball games than I am at a ballet class. But the other night, I was cleaning up the dishes from dinner and baking cookies while watching Braydon & kenney outside in our back yard playing catch with the baseball. I grabbed my camera & rushed upstairs to the room that will be Makenna's room & took pictures of them playing without them knowing it. As I was standing there watching my boys, I think it finally dawned on me that it will be ok to have a little girl. I scrapbook, I love photography, I love theater. I can do these things with her. And I'm sure I'll get over the fact that I have no clue how to do someone else's hair. And I'm sure that eventually I'll enjoy somethings that I hate doing now simply because I get to do them with my daughter. She is something that is half kenney & half me, so she can't be all that girly anyways, can she?! haha. =)

I'm also nervous because I know nothing about how to take care of little girls. With Braydon, I was told to cover him with a diaper or wipe while I changed him. I only had him pee on me once, and that was my own fault. We were in NY visiting my family when he was 3 months old, and I was changing him downstairs. My dad was in the room, and I saw Braydon squeezing his cheeks tight, and I thought it was hilarious, so I held him up for my dad to see. He laughed too, and just as he laughed, Braydon released his cheeks and peed on me. Apparently he was squeezin' em for a reason. But anyways, with girls I heard they can get infections, and you have to wipe them a certain way. Even at daycare, all of my babies were boys when I was in the baby room. I guess I'll just have to learn, huh?

Anyways, I've come to accept the fact that its a girl. I even bought her an outfit to come home in. It's not pink, but it has a little pink on it. I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow and I'm itching for her to be here. I can't wait to hold her and count her fingers and toes.

2 comments:

bethany said...

I just have to say...I know how you feel. I've ALWAYS wanted a little boy. I was so afraid I'd be horribly disappointed when I found out that we were having a girl, and I was, a little. I had a hard time buying girly clothes, and to be honest, I still don't like pink. (But she looks great in pink, lol.) I can dress her in jeans and t-shirts and hoodies, and that's ok. :) I discovered that I love her more than anything. I wouldn't trade her for a boy even if I could! Sure, I hope someday I have a little boy. But I know that I'll learn how to be a girl mama, and even if she wants to do ballet and have "princess"-themed things, I'll learn how to do it with her. I know you will learn the same things! And it will be so much fun watching B be a big brother to his little sister. :)

Anonymous said...

So i know how you feel. i was so anti girly i didn't actually discover i had breasts till college i don't think. i am anti anything pink and the idea that parents would tell their daughters they are a princess not only made the feminist inside me rage but it also made me need that pink pepto before i hurled. ellas outfit to come home from the hospital in was a little BLUE dress with the littlest amount of pink i could find.

As i write this my daughter is prancing about in a "princess dress" with tulle - yes tulle. some lady from alexs work gave her these overtly girly dresses that turned into dress up clothes(yes she does that) because i cant bear anyone in public getting the impression i might have bought them lol.

Ella and i are currently undergoing a search for a dinosaur shirt that isnt made for a boy. now i dont mind her dressing in boys clothes, she has lots. BUT WHY IS IT THAT GIRLS CANT LIKE DINOSAURS!! all the little girls shirts say things like little princess and cutie pie. if you ever see one get one for both of our girls ok?

much to my initial dismay she came up with the princess thing herself. but i realized when your little girl looks up at you and says "look mommy, i a pwincess" you just cant do anything except say "yes, baby you are"

you will get it all even if you weren't born with it. oh and NEVER EVER underestimate the peeing abilities of a little girl! see you tomorrow. Aprille