Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Applehood & mother pie...

There's something special about apples to me. Perhaps its because I grew up in NY, surrounded by them. Maybe it's because it reminds me of my family. Either way, apples to me remind me of NY and my childhood. So here I sit, smelling beef stew simmering in the crock pot and apples on the stove, and it could remind me more of my mom if I tried!

This cookbook, "Applehood & Motherpie" is a staple of my mom's cookbook collection. My grandmother gave it to her for Christmas in 1981. (we recently discovered this when my grandma was here visiting and we were getting a recipe for something-my gram had written a message from back in 81 to my mom.) Pretty neat, huh? But anyways, it's a collection of recipes from upstate NYers, and I guess I'd never realized that it was a regional cookbook until this past visit from my grandma. I'm on a hunt to find one for myself. I'd love to have those recipes for myself, and someday be able to share them with Makenna!

Sooooo, here's to the Junior League of rochester for creating a family tradition spreading 3 generations, and eventually 4!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

my new fave...


This is my new favorite picture of my pregnancy thus far....


Friday, October 26, 2007

Wrapped around my finger...

It's a shame that Braydon doesn't know how to wrap his grandparents around his finger! He is just one spoiled little boy when it comes to his Ama & his Papa! Here are some recent pictures of Braydon with them...






Thursday, October 25, 2007

Sappy seconds...

It's time for my sappy few seconds of the day. I miss friends. The ones that you can get together with, share stories with. The ones that you go do silly stuff with. I know that once you have children, it's hard to do stuff, but I'm just really sad that I don't feel like I have any. All of them live hundreds of miles away. Even the closest ones who only live an hour away, I never see because life is just busy, ya know?

Family is great, don't get me wrong. But I'd just like to have a friend who I could meet up at a fast food place and let our kids play in the playland while we talk. Or have someone come over and hang out. Or go to someone else's house.

I know this probably sounds pathetic, but it's just the fact that I've realized that I need to make more friends. But on the other hand, I kind of don't want to because we may move in the near future, so it's like making effort for no reason. I don't know.

Ok, enough pitty party for Christy time.

Cheers and Jeers

The Daily Messenger from Canandaigua, NY used to publish a weekly "cheers & jeers" section to highlight good things people had done & to draw attention to those people who deserved the bad publicity. So, since I cannot react publicly while at work here are my cheers & jeers of my first 2 weeks working at Goodwill.

CHEERS:

-To the person who donated the light colored men's pants who made me feel skinny. Even pregnant, I fit into one of the pant legs. Not to mention it made me laugh.

-To the young gentleman that came into the store and purchased a suit for a job interview using all change. My prayer for you is that things start looking up for you, and that you will have a new look at yourself in your "new" suit.

-To the hispanic man who frequents our store wearing the shirt that reads "I have gas" with a woman holding on to a gas nozzle. Everytime he walks into the store, I chuckle quietly to myself, and I hope that you understand what the shirt says, b/c otherwise it would lose it's humor.

-To the church group that came in as a part of a scavenger hunt. I'm glad we had the wedding dress there, but sorry we didn't have a wig or bowling shoes. It was so fun to see all those young pre-teen girls so excited, and to see them truly enjoying themselves doing something wholesome. Not to mention it was fun to watch & think about when I was in youth group.

JEERS:

-To the woman who came to the store with an obviously fake 5 dollar bill, and who swore up and down it was real. Come on. It didn't even look real, or feel real. Fortunately, my manager was on the phone and you didn't want to wait for her to get off, so you gave me a different bill. I mean, seriously, do you think you're going to be able to use that somewhere?

-To the people who try to scam Goodwill by claiming a shirt that clearly is a hang up t-shirt was in the bin. I mean it's a 2 dollar difference. If it were Wal-mart or some other company that is there for a profit, I say fight for it. But this is GOODWILL, a non-profit organization!

-To the woman who went through the men's section of pants and left 27 pairs of pants either laying on the floor or hanging on top of the rack. And then once you noticed the pregnant woman picking up all your clothes that you left, you dropped 2 more pairs of pants.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Please won't you (stay) be my neighbor?

Our neighbor's are moving back to Western NC, and that makes us sad. Braydon has enjoyed having a playmate next door to us, and we've enjoyed their company as well. It's so nice to have people that you like as your next door neighbros. It's not often where this works out. There's been many nights that we've been outside and hung out for hours letting the kids play, or having random hot dog cookouts at the drop of a hat. We will surely miss them as they leave.

This morning, I watched their 11 month old boy for a few hours so Becky could go to her eye appointment. Afterwards, she offered to give us a changing table and a bouncy seat. We have already gotten a changing table from my lovely cousin (THANKS SOOO MUCH MEL!) but we hadn't gotten a bouncy seat. We figured we had a swing, if we needed a seat, we could go get one later. I'm so thankful we waited, and thankful for this almost new bouncy seat we now have!

As I said, it makes me sad to see them go, and we will miss them dearly...

Friday, October 19, 2007

"I'm still hot...."

"...it just comes in flashes!" This was a card that my mom got for her 50th birthday & it cracked me up. I've been visited by the hormone fairy. Of course, this is not a surprise seeing as I'm 7 months pregnant. But I am just amazed at the intensity of these flashes. My empathy for those in the midst of menopause has sky rocketed! They come at the most random moments and no matter what I do, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Whether its at the dinner table at my parents house, in the car on the way to drop off B @ preschool, or even in Target---they hit fast and furiously. I now keep my deodorant in my purse at all times.

The worst is when I am at work. They don't keep it very cool in Goodwill (perhaps it's to encourage people not to stay too long?!?) and we're not allowed to have water on the sales floor. So there I stand, sweating like a pig, using the "GCF" newsletter as a fan. I get plenty of sympathetic looks and "when are you due?" questions. At least they don't say what both they and myself are thinking: that I look like a trainwreck!

Well, most of the time they don't say or act on what they're thinking. It amazes me how a pregnant belly can change social rules and norms in a split second. If you saw a fat man in the cookie aisle at Wal-Mart would you have an irresistable urge to run over and rub his stomach? Would you think "I MUST go rub his belly!"?!? OF COURSE NOT! But when a pregnant belly comes waddling down the aisle of a grocery store, it's suddenly makes groping another strangers stomach appropriate or acceptable. Or they feel like they can speak to you because they're "in the club". The club of "I've had a baby before" or "my wife had a baby once" or "i once knew someone who at some point had a baby." Call me a Northern snob if you will, but I'm just not comfortable with the whole talking to complete strangers bit, even after living here in the south for 7 years.

Most of them are well meaning, but I get tired of complete strangers telling me that I'm enormous or hardly look pregnant at all (that one cracks me up!) I get tired of conversations that I'm forced to be involved in. Sometimes, I'd just like to go in to a store without someone trying to engage me in conversation. Maybe I can blame my lack of enthusiasm on my hormones. Either way conversing with strangers is not something I enjoy doing. Especially in the midst of a hot flash and a fussy 3 1/2 year old's fit.

Now don't get me wrong, I love having conversations about my growing family. I loved thinking and sharing my excitement about my little girl. I just prefer speaking with people I know and care for. So if you'd like to talk to me about the baby, and I know you, go for it. I won't kill you (well, I don't think I will!) But I don't want to do it with strangers.

I just have to share an experience that I still am in shock about. Some people just amaze me. The other day, I dropped Braydon off at preschool and headed for dunkin' donuts. This is not something I normally do, but I just could not get the idea of a coffee cake muffin and hot chocolate off my mind. I also want some time to enjoy reading the NY Times (which I don't get much time to do). As I sat reading my paper, a woman came from out of no where and told me that I was completely selfish for dinking coffee while I was pregnant. I was dumbfounded. She continued to berate me by telling me that was what is wrong with young people today, that we only think of ourselves. At this point, I was still in shock, and managed to tell her that it wasn't her business to begin with, and second of all, I was drinking hot chocolate. She turned bright red and headed to the door quickly. Rach says I shoulda gone after her & chewed her out, but I guess I was still in awe that this woman would do something like that, and I didn't know how to respond. Can you believe the nerve of that lady?!?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Stepford Wife

****WARNING: I'm about to completely put myself out there for all of the world to see. I just need to get some of this stuff out, and after a talk with my Aunt Laura, I figured I'd go ahead and blog about it.****

I have to admit it...I'm NOT a stepford wife. I'm not too good at keeping up with the laundry, or on a strict cleaning schedule. I can't say that I slave behind a stove all day to make dinner for my family. I struggle a lot with being a wife in all honesty. It's something I've noticed, but it wasn't until reading a friend's blog about her struggles with maintaining her status as a wife in light of being a new mommy that I started thinking about it in depth. In my friend's blog, she talked about how she's worked so hard to maintain her role as a wife to her husband, not just as a mommy. They've welcomed her into their home as an addition, but not the center of their lives. I think that this is so important, and when Braydon was younger, I was so good at it.

As life has gone on, however, over these past few years, I've quickly let that slide. Braydon really did become the center of my world but not intentionally. I think I focused life around him because it made me feel less lonely. If I spent my free time focused on Braydon, I couldn't possibly be reminded that my friends lived hundreds of miles away. I wouldn't have time to think about how I longed for a significant other. I became a "PROUD SINGLE MOM" and wore it almost as a badge of honor.

When Kenney came along, it was very hard to relinquish my authority as a the only parent in Braydon's life. I did everything and even though Kenney tried to help, I wouldn't let him. When B had a birthday at Chuck E Cheese, I took over. Those were Kenney's words. I didn't even realize it, it was just something that I'd become accustomed to.

Now that we're married, I find it so hard to put Kenney first sometimes. I'm being completely honest here, and I know it probably sounds awful. I struggle with the idea that although I gave birth to Braydon, I am in a covenant relationship with Kenney, and told him that I would be his helpmate. I chose that word to include it in my vows to Kenney because I think it's a neat role that God has ordained for us. To be there to help our spouse. But now I struggle to explore and define myself as WIFE and mother, instead of MOTHER and wife. It's been interesting that's for sure.

Speaking of helpmates, a few Sunday's ago, I was struggling to get all of us on time to church. I had already gotten Braydon dressed (while kenney was getting ready). I went downstairs to iron my skirt, and had just finished ironing when Kenney asked me to iron his shirt for him. Ok, it's like almost 9 AM (church starts at 9:15), I'm still in my pj's, I haven't brushed my hair or my teeth, no makeup on what-so-ever....I had already taken care of Braydon getting him dressed and fed...not taking a minute for myself...AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO IRON FOR YOU TOO?!?!? I was steaming mad, but I took his shirt and ironed it anyway. The whole time I was ironing, I was churning and ranting and raving in my head about how he got to spend all of his time for himself, and I haven't even gotten out of my jammies yet.

As I was finishing up his shirt, I was reminded of my vows I had said to him on April 7th. I promised him to be his helpmate. No one had chosen those words but me. No one forced me to recite something someone else had written. I put that word in there, and it was my time to honor those vows. As I walked up the stairs and heard him getting out of the shower, I figured I'd check his pants and see if they needed to be ironed, which of course they did. So I ran downstairs and ironed them as well.

What I realized as I was ironing was that it didn't matter if we were on time to church or not if I couldn't even be bothered to help my husband. I made vows before God to help Kenney. To take care of him when he needed it. After all, I hadn't been upset that I had to get Braydon dressed. I hadn't tried to make Braydon feel guilty for having to put him first before myself. So why would I do that to my husband?

So, I'm trying to learn about sacrafice. I'm trying to walk out my vows to kenney on a daily basis. I try to make time for him, where it's just the two of us. We play cards, or watch tv. But even though I sometimes fall short, I am now aware of what I need to do. I can no longer blame it on being unaware.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Officially apart of the workforce again

Yesterday was my first official day back in the workforce. I enjoyed an almost 5 month break from working outside of the house. The job I have is ideal, and I'm so thankful. It allows me to be out of the house for 3 hours a day, and brings in some extra money, which couldn't come at a more convienent time! It's nothing fancy but its a perfect job for me. The only thing I don't like is missing putting Braydon down for bed. I love our routine. We read one book, say our prayer, then we decide where we're going to meet in our dreams. Maybe we can try to move his bed time til a little later. We'll see.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day...


"My Mom is a Survivor"
My Mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door
I seetears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her...
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal.
(By Kaye Des'Ormeaux October 15, 1998)
In Loving Memory....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zeanna Asriel-June 28th, 2002
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David Ajanni-October 15th, 2004

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Christmas Money

I got a part time job today working at Goodwill as a cashier. I'll work from 5:30PM-8:30 PM Monday thru friday. Works out great because Kenney will be home to watch Braydon. Best thing is they pay $9/hr. which is more than what I made at the preschool I used to work for. It's sad when they pay a cashier more than they pay a person who helps mold the next generation. This comes just in time to have extra Christmas money as well as money for Makenna!!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Maternity Eternity...

I know they say pregnancy only last 9 months (technically its 10, but who's counting?!?) but it sure does feel like forever. I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm never just able to enjoy it. I hate the fact that I'm either puking or having extremly uncomfortable hot flashes where I'm about to pass out, or having to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes. It makes it feel like I've been pregnant forever. In all reality, it's gone by quickly, but don't try telling me that. I probably will hit you. Or start crying. Or maybe I'll laugh. Who knows. That's the other thing I hate...hormones.

Poor Kenney. I go from sweating buckets to arguing with him to crying and begging him to leave me alone. Then we laugh about it (well, I begin to laugh, and Kenney waits to make sure it's ok for him to laugh too without getting a pillow thrown at him!) Rachel & I were talking on MSN messenger the other day about my newly created "super" hero called "Super Hormones". Rachel said I could put an "E" on my chest (for emotional, or estrogen, either one!) and that's what I can be for halloween. Along with my monster feet. =)

Friday, October 5, 2007

2 down, 1 to go...

I'm finally done with my second trimester! WAHOO!!! Today marks 27 weeks for this pregnancy, and I begin my 3rd trimester! It's a little odd to think that this time last year I was planning my wedding, and now we're planning to make room for Makenna Rae!

I am so proud to report that so far I've gained 16 lbs. through this pregnancy. Ironically, I only gained 17 with Braydon my entire pregnancy. I'm much bigger with this one though, thats for sure...But now since I've gotten my hair cut, I wonder if the scale will show any difference!! It was a LOT of hair they cut off!! One thing that I'm beginning to have is swelling. I never had that with Braydon. My feet are getting pretty big, which is kinda scary. I check my blood pressure every day, so I know that I'm ok, but it's just weird looking at my new monster feet. Just in time for halloween, huh?!? =)

We've got the crib up in Makenna's room, and we decided to stick with the Winnie the Pooh theme like we did with Braydon (& Noah). I just could not justify buying brand new stuff when I had perfectly good stuff just sitting in a closet at my parents house. So her crib is put together, the bedding is on, and the mobile is assembled. The breast pump I bought on ebay is on it's way here. We've washed the clothes, hung them up, and are trying to work on getting everything else we need for her arrival.

I really want to get the Chicco Cortina Key Fit Car seat & stroller for her. It's one of the best out there, but it is also quite expensive. We've been looking at craigslist and so far there are a couple of systems out there that people are trying to sell, but are still pretty expensive. But I figure if we buy one of the cheap ones at WalMart, it will still cost us 150, so for 40 or 50 more dollars we can get a top of the line one that has been used for a year.

One way or another, we will get everything we need, and probably a lot of things we may not even use. Either way, she's coming whether we're ready or not in a couple of months.

new 'do....

It's been a year since I've had my last hair cut. I know it's weird, but for a long time I was growing it out for the wedding. Then after the wedding, I kept saying I was going to cut it, but always chickened out....Until last night. I went into the hair dresser shaking. I know it sounds silly, but I was just worried that I wouldn't like it and go all hormonal on the hairdresser and embarass myself. Here's what I looked like at 5:30 PM last night with my long hair in need of a hair cut...
And now, here's the newest picture of myself. I'm glad to report no tears were shed, and even Kenney loves it. =)

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Mixed feelings

This month is a month of mixed emotions for me. The idea that is now fall makes me excited and makes me long to be in NY where I grew up. To go to the apple farm with my grandma and pick apples. To see the trees from accross Canandaigua Lake begin to change color and make their descent to the ground.

To know that I am almost in my 3rd trimester makes me anxious about Makenna's arrival. Will we have everything we need for her? Will I know what to do with a baby girl? I'm so thankful I worked in the nursery for 8 months to keep me used to the idea of babies. And thankfully, I'm only having one & I had 6 in there at one time.

October also brings a tinge of sadness to my heart as well. It marks a day that I lost one of my babies, as well as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day (which ironically fall on the same day). I know that it has all worked according to God's plan. I may never have met Kenney had it not been for this loss. I know that my dad is always concerned when I mention the fact that I still remember these days. But I choose to remember them, and know that they are in a better place, and that their existance, although for only a short time, has helped me become who I am today. I grieve for a short period of time, knowing that God has blessed me with a healthy little boy and a daughter, whom I get to feel moving every day and look forward to holding...

I'm also a little sad that I can't see my sister. I miss her and Noah, and okay, even Michal. =) I want to be there to help her. I want to go shopping together, and let the boys play together. Even Braydon has been missing his Aunt Rachel. We were at the pumpkin farm yesterday when Braydon saw a woman who was pregnant and kind of looked like Rachel. He ran up to her and yelled "RACHEL!!!" and he got all sad when he realized it wasn't her. It almost made me cry, and was so glad that he didn't stay sad for long when he saw all the pumpkins.

With that said, hurry up and come home Rachel, Michal, Noah & Unnamed baby!!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Square in a round hole...

Lately, my dreams have been very short (since I wake up 50 million times a night) and for the most part have been about the same theme. Fitting things into places where they don't belong. I know it sounds odd, so I'll explain a few.

In one dream, I was arranging a living room (not mine or anyone that I recognized) and trying to make everything fit. It didn't. No matter how I rearranged the furniture there was just too much of it and too little space. In a different dream, I was cleaning up various board games and puzzles. They were all mixed up and I was trying to sort them and fit them all back into their respective boxes, but for some reason none of them fit into the box that they were supposed to. Another dream I had I was on a playground playing with Braydon and I tried to go down a slide and got stuck. It was quite scary, and I then I looked down at my belly and realized I was stuck because of my belly.

These are just a few of them. I feel I have a pretty good idea about what they mean. It's obvious from referring to dreammoods.com that I'm struggling with the idea of whats to come with the new baby, and trying to plan things out that I'm not sure if we can make them work. It's just bizarre how our brains take our secret fears and anxiety and makes them into random dreams including monopoly, chess, couches, recliners, etc.

Shopping Victoriously....

It's ebays newest ad slogan, where they show these people running for an item trying to catch it in some form of a race. And the look of defeat on the losers face is so funny because its so true. How many times have you bid on an item where there is like 2 or 3 days left and you remain the high bidder, only to wake up and check your email to see "ebay item not won". You were outbid at the last second! SOOOO frustrating. So frustrating that people are pushed to use the "Buy it now" option so they won't have to face the disappointment again of losing their item to a lurker. My poor sister is one of these people who lost an item, and then in turn did a BIN on her monitiors.

That's right, there are lurkers sitting in front of their computers, waiting, refreshing their pages counting down, waiting to make a last second offer that they KNOW you won't have time to counter bid. So in honor and vengance of my dear sister, I became on of those lurkers.

I was bidding on a medela pump in style, and I literally waited on my computer for an hour and a half, watching and waiting....But I was not the only lurker stalking this breastpump. At about 15 minutes remaining, there was a bid that overtook the original bid. So I waited....and refreshed the page. Over and over and over again. My strategy was to wait as little time was left in order for me to be able to place my bid, and just in case i be outbid still have enough time to place a subsequent bid. It was obvious that there was another lurker out there and I DID NOT want to lose this pump! So at 2 minutes left in the auction I placed my bid, just a dollar over what current bid was. I knew it was risky because I would most likely have to place a higher bid, but I wanted to bid just enough over this other ebayer without paying too much. I bid, and indeed I was outbid, and had to place another bet. There was about a minute remaining in the auction, when I placed another bid, this time 3 dollars higher than the current bid. and I was the high bidder...

I refreshed the page about 60 times (once per second) just to make sure that at 30 seconds remaining she hadn't rebid. And so at 9:48 PM, I became a victorious shopper on ebay. And had a smerk on my face and felt like my sister had been vindicated. Okay, so in the scheme of life, I know this is trivial, but hey, it was an experience and I wanted to share.