Friday, October 19, 2007

"I'm still hot...."

" just comes in flashes!" This was a card that my mom got for her 50th birthday & it cracked me up. I've been visited by the hormone fairy. Of course, this is not a surprise seeing as I'm 7 months pregnant. But I am just amazed at the intensity of these flashes. My empathy for those in the midst of menopause has sky rocketed! They come at the most random moments and no matter what I do, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Whether its at the dinner table at my parents house, in the car on the way to drop off B @ preschool, or even in Target---they hit fast and furiously. I now keep my deodorant in my purse at all times.

The worst is when I am at work. They don't keep it very cool in Goodwill (perhaps it's to encourage people not to stay too long?!?) and we're not allowed to have water on the sales floor. So there I stand, sweating like a pig, using the "GCF" newsletter as a fan. I get plenty of sympathetic looks and "when are you due?" questions. At least they don't say what both they and myself are thinking: that I look like a trainwreck!

Well, most of the time they don't say or act on what they're thinking. It amazes me how a pregnant belly can change social rules and norms in a split second. If you saw a fat man in the cookie aisle at Wal-Mart would you have an irresistable urge to run over and rub his stomach? Would you think "I MUST go rub his belly!"?!? OF COURSE NOT! But when a pregnant belly comes waddling down the aisle of a grocery store, it's suddenly makes groping another strangers stomach appropriate or acceptable. Or they feel like they can speak to you because they're "in the club". The club of "I've had a baby before" or "my wife had a baby once" or "i once knew someone who at some point had a baby." Call me a Northern snob if you will, but I'm just not comfortable with the whole talking to complete strangers bit, even after living here in the south for 7 years.

Most of them are well meaning, but I get tired of complete strangers telling me that I'm enormous or hardly look pregnant at all (that one cracks me up!) I get tired of conversations that I'm forced to be involved in. Sometimes, I'd just like to go in to a store without someone trying to engage me in conversation. Maybe I can blame my lack of enthusiasm on my hormones. Either way conversing with strangers is not something I enjoy doing. Especially in the midst of a hot flash and a fussy 3 1/2 year old's fit.

Now don't get me wrong, I love having conversations about my growing family. I loved thinking and sharing my excitement about my little girl. I just prefer speaking with people I know and care for. So if you'd like to talk to me about the baby, and I know you, go for it. I won't kill you (well, I don't think I will!) But I don't want to do it with strangers.

I just have to share an experience that I still am in shock about. Some people just amaze me. The other day, I dropped Braydon off at preschool and headed for dunkin' donuts. This is not something I normally do, but I just could not get the idea of a coffee cake muffin and hot chocolate off my mind. I also want some time to enjoy reading the NY Times (which I don't get much time to do). As I sat reading my paper, a woman came from out of no where and told me that I was completely selfish for dinking coffee while I was pregnant. I was dumbfounded. She continued to berate me by telling me that was what is wrong with young people today, that we only think of ourselves. At this point, I was still in shock, and managed to tell her that it wasn't her business to begin with, and second of all, I was drinking hot chocolate. She turned bright red and headed to the door quickly. Rach says I shoulda gone after her & chewed her out, but I guess I was still in awe that this woman would do something like that, and I didn't know how to respond. Can you believe the nerve of that lady?!?


Aprille said...

some people have no lives. i insist these people are the one who watch jerry springer.

i think you should make a shirt that says "dont touch my belly. i'm a yanky"

Anonymous said...

Some people just don't have any social norms. I think I would have been in shock also. She just presumed you were drinking coffee. It's funny because you don't even drink coffee any more! As for the hot flashes, now you know what I go through lately!!!! Be thankful yours will end soon with a wonderful little gift attached. All I get attached to mine is old age!!!!! Mom

American Mum said...

And the fact of the matter is, even if you were drinking coffee, so what? You're allowed 30 mg a day anyway.