Thursday, April 24, 2008

Bad Mommy, Baaaaaad!

I hate those days when I lose control. I hate letting my children see me when my terrible lurking temper emerges. I hate screaming at Braydon because he's...fill in the blank. But today was just one of those days. Braydon wanted to be all up my butt today, literally, and wouldn't let me do anything by myself. Then, anytime I paid Kenna even the slightest bit of attention he was all on top of her blocking her from my view, almost hurting her because he didn't want to share the spotlight.

Then there was the not listening to me. And the talking back. And the tantrum throwing in the middle of the party store because I "dared" to say no. Or when he woke Makenna up. Or when he grabbed on to my leg (mid tantrum) and wouldn't let go, even after I told him I had to go to the bathroom and I almost peed my pants.

But I totally lost my temper, MANY MANY times today and I hate it because it makes me feel like a failure. I don't want either one of my kids to think that it's okay to blow up when you become overwhelmed. I sit here feeling totally defeated, and am looking forward to the start of a new day tomorrow. TGI(almost) F!


Kiki said...

Hi, Christy! Thank you for you kind words on my blog! Your post sounds so much like my long, involved one yesterday. I so feel your pain, but on the other side of it! There are days,...! ::hugs::

Aprille said...

I wanted to say that I know exactly what you mean. I have those days much more than I would like. I have noticed they seem to happen on days where I am really trying to get something done or when I am feeling particularly lazy in the entertainment area. Bored kid = trouble for all. Those are days where the kids just seem to get underfoot more. With this in mind I am trying to do more things to ware them out. Today we HAVE to go tot he park just so I can get them outside some. Even though I would rather not drag them around.

Something I have decided to do with my kiddos is admit when I am wrong and apologize just like I expect them to do. I always hated it when my parents didn't say sorry when they were wrong just because they were the adult. There seem to be streaks where I am apologizing more than I like and acknowledging it and using it as a teaching moment has helped Ella too.

Elizabeth F. said...

It must have been going around yesterday...we had a bad mommy day here too! Thank God for new days and the ability to start fresh.

Jessica said...

I totally understand where you're coming from! I don't have any advice for you, but *hugs* you're not alone!