Wednesday, June 18, 2008

overwhelmed

From time to time, I have mini panic attacks. My heart will start racing, and I'll start sweating and getting dizzy. They usually go away.

Lately, it seems as though it's one long panic attack. I am easily overwhelmed, agitated, defeated. I went to go participate in my sister's fotofest, and after looking at all the enteries can't even make myself post. People pay me to take their wedding pictures, but I can't even handle a simple contest without feeling overwhelmed and completely inadequate.

I really hate when I get like this. I struggle with my lack of ability to handle normal motherly duties, such as putting my 5 month old to bed, or even reading a book to my son without getting frustrated or having this horrible feeling of defeat. No need for pity, just needed to get that out.

4 comments:

Shelly said...

You are an awesome mommy and photographer! Don't you believe those negative thoughts. You are not alone in your feelings and frustrations. I'll be praying for you!

Innocence Underrated said...

I think those negative feelings creep up on us all at somepoint. Moms are asked to do a lot, without being asked, I guess that means expected. It's definitely hard and I recently have been admitting how overwhelmed I've been feeling, which admitting that feels like failure to me, but it is good to let it out. Pray against those thoughts!

Aprille said...

good to know your normal too. Or at least we are weird together =) Been cleaning all day for you girl! It still looks like crap HAHA see you tomorrow!

Elizabeth F. said...

Have you considered the possibility of post-partum? It can happen up to 6 mos after giving birth. Maybe you're just overwhlemed by motherhood and juggling work, house, and stuff...but it's worth the thought. I think every mother goes through times of feeling like this. It will get better with time, I promise! Blessings to you!