Wednesday, March 16, 2011

seeking advice...

Why is it that there are some topics where people don't ask whether you need advice, they just seem to offer it anyways? Like when you're pregnant, people feel they have tons of expert wisdom they must impart to you, even if they were pregnant like 30 years ago. Or when your 3 yr old is having a meltdown in the middle of Walmart because you are not giving in to her tactics.

Of course, most people are just genuinely trying to be nice, where some people (in the case of random strangers at walmart) are just assuming that you don't know what you're doing and feel the need to intervene.

But why is it when you really need wisdom and advice, there's no one there to help? Why is it in the middle of the day, when you're weary from being consistent and you so much want to give in to the tantrums, to just throw the towel in turn on the TV.

And what's worse when I turn to the creative homeschool moms for ideas, instead of feeling inspired, I feel incredibly inept and like a complete failure. How on earth do these moms with like 6 kids do it? Not only are they able to plan their awesome home cooked meals a week in advance, they actually follow through with it instead of looking at the clock at realizing its 7 and not even thought about dinner. Not only do they homeschool their kids, but they do all of these neat activities, while having younger kids play with each other without a problem.

I'm struggling teaching one while having my younger ones occupied. They used to play great back in the room while B and I did schoolwork. Now they quarrel consistently, and then in turn squeal and screech the highest volume possible. They hurt each other, and by the time I get back there for the 50th time in 20 minutes, I've had it and then discipline out of anger, rather than of love. I hate to admit it but it's true.

I'm desperate to figure out what, practically speaking I can do with my youngest two. And then, on top of those two, how do I deal with my oldest who is annoyed by every and anyone? Granted, we're still in the process of working the kinks out of homeschooling. I know he's eager to get out and run and play. But it's hard to meet all of their needs AND have food ready for them AND manage to get dressed (notice, I didn't even fathom a shower!) I didn't even mention anything about the housework.

For a few weeks, I tried a schedule and that worked out okay, despite the littles trying to kill one another. So I'm still trying to fix that. But I loved the idea of a schedule and Braydon thrived on it. I was able to get most of what I needed to do finished, but still my main struggle is the littlest two. So how on earth do you folks do it?!? Most of the time I could occupy Makenna Rae, but then JoJo starts screaming and then everyone gets upset, frustrated and irritated.


Taylored Times said...

We just recently started homeschool and I came across a great site that has super ideas for occupying littles. check out her tot school. She does tot trays so they have a space to work within & can choose/access what is for them. We also really like the sensory bin ideas. Sometimes a little tough to find things for that the 1 y/o can't choke on, but doable. My 1 y/o still naps, so I try to do as much 'mommy help' stuff in that time as possible.

No matter how much you do/plan there is always going to be someone else who looks like they have it all together. You only have a limited amount of time, money & resources. Pick one/two/three that your going to do and do really well and do what you can with the other things but don't beat yourself up about it- you're super powers are not within you so don't be looking there. Just look up.

Krysten @ Glors Galore said...

Yeah I gave up on trying to compare myself to other moms, even my husband's family, there are women who seem to "have it all together" and I hate even having them over...sigh. but I see other areas that they are not doing so well in.. Anyways, I read on the Flylady website that some are Born Organizers, and other are not. I am really organized in some ways (my dvds are all categorized by genre, why? no idea) clothing in the closets and storage bins are by size and season. But, yeah daily dinner? I hate thinking of a menu ahead of time because what if i don't FEEL like eating that, that night? ugh. haha.

If Makenna and Jordan nap in the afternoons, what about doing school then with Braydon? Switch it up and let them all out to play outside in the morning to burn some good energy, or run errands or whatever; then while they sleep do school? Is that feasible?

I've been watching 2-3 kids who are the same ages as mine, so it's like two sets of twins. The almost 4 yr olds are capable of a lot, but the almost 2 yr olds are not. I do set everyone up at the table and give the older ones more in depth art projects, while the little ones might just get crayons and paper or something. But, they feel included.

I bet Makenna would love to do some "school" stuff?? We have some preschool type workbooks where Kian can do some intro to letters, numbers, writing, color separation, etc. Then she would feel like she's right up there and doing the 'big kid' stuff perhaps?

I don't homeschool as he's only 3.5 but we do some crafts and 'learning' things and pick some themes depending on the month/holidays/weather, etc. and usually I can find something to scale down easy for Karter to do. Heck, sometimes just paint keeps them all occupied forever. Or, take school on the go? Are there places that the little ones can play and be occupied (toddler playground?) and do school on a bench or would that be way too distracting and torturous for Braydon? ;) I"m sure you will get a thousand ideas and some really great ones! Hopefully this is just a season and it will blow over soon!

Lorin said...

Hold Tight. I will be there in a few months and we can create a schedule for Kenna and JoJo that works with Carmen and Frankie's. Then EVERYONE will be happy.