Wednesday, March 16, 2011

the night before....

Well tonight's the night before...I always hate the night before all of our appointments at UNC because I never ever get any sleep. My stomach is always in knots. But I love, love LOVE the people here at the Ronald McDonald House!! We even got to see our friends Lindsey & Brentley and got to play outside with them for a little while.

Tonight, they had music time in the front living room area at the house. There was an author who wrote a book Sing and Hum Bumblebee. The kids were able to play with all sorts of fun instruments, listen to the book and the CD, and they just had a great time. The adults enjoyed it just as much!

"Sing and Hum Bumblebee
Find your inner harmony
Bumble Bee’s Sing and Hum
Hum, Hum, Hum, Hum

When you hum Bumble Bee
You can overcome anything."

The chorus above almost brought tears to my eyes, even if it sounds a little corny just reading them. There was something so special hearing the words sung and watching JoJo and Brentley together. These boys are tough, and to hear the words "you can overcome anything" just really was so very calming to my mommy heart.

But now, here I am awake. I just wish I had some answers, a plan of some sort. But then I'm reminded that if we do get answers from these test they're doing tomorrow, our lives will be very different, and I just don't know if I'm ready to deal with it. My dad asked me over the phone if I had mentally prepared myself, and I told him I had. But I suppose it's easy to say that I am mentally prepared, but how does a mama prepare to here any sort of bad news about their baby?My hope is that this round of tests will lead to us just crossing off another possible diagnosis off the list, as frustrating as that may be.

I normally have an planned idea of what I'm going to write in my blog posts, most of them have a specific starting and ending point. But for tonight, it's just ramblings. . My heart hurts right now, and I'm just really scared. I'm scared of what they'll find. I'm scared of what they won't find. Again.


The little Blotts said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you all tomorrow!!

Anonymous said...

We love you and we are praying that God's love and strength will sustain you today!!! Oh how I wish I could be with you both today, but I will keep the other two calm & happy today!!! May the peace that passes all understanding be with you and Jordan today. All our love!!! Mom & Dad